Partner and I like to have long-running, punny, jokes in our life. Maybe “joke” isn’t the right word but, we tend to use alternate terminology to make light of tough things. MaybeBaby’s genetics has been no different.
At first, I just called MaybeBaby HOPE. Partner, being a bit nerdy, started referring to it as “Li’l Bit” (in a nod to it’s unconventional and technology driven origins). On our way to the Maternal-Fetal Medicine appointment, I said something like, “Holy SH*T… we’re going to be breeders!” That led to a conversation about cows and veterinarians and ranching. Yes, Partner and I were talking about the conception of MaybeBaby as if we were ranchers… Ugh. No. We agreed there HAD to be a fun but more gentle way of describing this.
“Well,” Partner says, “sperm is sometimes referred to as ‘seed’. Who uses seeds? Farmers, growers. So, that’s us. We’re farmers.” Taking the analogy further, seeds sprout and grow. As we are genealogy buffs, we think of roots and trees. So, we’re planting the seeds of a new generation, we’re growing the family tree, MaybeBaby is now being called “Sprout.”
And Sprout is coming to us courtesy of Groot.
The analogy is clumsy, but I’m sure you can see it if you know what Groot is. 🙂 Check out the link if you don’t.
Giving MaybeBaby a “name” to call it by makes it feel more real. And calling donor “Groot” gives us a way to continue the theme, not say “sperm donor” all the time (or some other uncomfortable medical term), and– really… it gives this Samaritan a little honor in our story. Groot is a simple character, but terribly important to the Guardians of the Galaxy story. He has nothing to say other than, “I am Groot.” and that’s about all our donor will have to say in our life, similarly. Donor Groot is terribly important in our story, and he’ll always be there in some big/small way, but his affirmation of existence will remain simple: He is Groot.
We have put off finding our Groot, but we finally sat down and did it this weekend. Because of my CMV status, our donor pool was small and so it was not as gut wrenching as it might have been. We approached it in our usual fashion, as a team, and we laughed over how it had to be the strangest threesome in history that we were trying to build. I read files, Partner read files. We listed pros and cons, shared our “top choices” with one another and then whittled it down again.
It came down to two in the end. The other person lost because he’s balding early and is nearsighted. I feel SO judgmental about that, but we nixed others because they were too much of one thing or another, were lactose intolerant or had autoimmune disease in the family. Our Groot seems like, when he did the paperwork years ago, he was a great young man with a good head on his shoulders and a down-to-earth demeanor. We passed over a lawyer, never saw any doctors in the bunch… I don’t know what Groot has gone on to do with his life, but that doesn’t matter much. I think we have aligned ourselves with a Groot who is balanced and, happily, has a strong likeness to Partner.
He is Groot. And I thank him for the chance he’s giving us and Sprout.
“I am Groot.”