Stupidity personified.

No, I’m not referring to our U.S. elections (though I could be).

It’s me.

I SHOULD be working.  I SHOULD be keeping up with the dishes.  I SHOULD be visiting my mother.  I SHOULD be taking a walk.  I SHOULD be meal planning.  I SHOULD be crafting for upcoming holidays.  I SHOULD…

What I should NOT be doing is daydreaming.  I should NOT be itching to make a secret Pinterest board dedicated all things Sprout.  I want to look at maternity clothes.  I want to look at baby-wearing-slings.  I want to look at nursery ideas (not that I’ve decorated ANY other room in my home).  I want to see what the latest and greatest in car seats and strollers are. I want to pin links to at-home Doppler gadgets and heart-beat toys.

But I SHOULD NOT.

I cannot.

Writing letters to a non-existent person is one thing… it’s still just a silly story I could one day tell.

Focusing on “when” and starting to design my hopefully-happy pregnancy… well, that’s just asking for a disaster.

When I was a little girl, all my friends started to lose their teeth at about the same time.  I, on the other hand, had too many teeth (literally) and they were not budging.  I dreamed about the Tooth Fairy coming to ME and how it would feel to find that magically appeared quarter under my pillow… I cried that I couldn’t be the same as them, that I didn’t have a story about how it just fell out or how scared they were to wrap the tooth floss around it and pull.  I waited and waited, but they never got loose.  Finally, one day, things were different… there was a little give when I wiggled.  By the end of the day, I’d lost FOUR of those stubborn teeth, all of them with a lot of help from me.  Maybe too much help… but I got it done.

The fact is, baby teeth happen for the vast majority of the human race.  Pregnancy, not so much.  Traditions like the Tooth Fairy are fun ways to plan and daydream for physical events to come.  Pregnancy is not the same pseudo-fact.  We talk about “The Stork” but usually that’s a myth left for the END of the story.  Too many of us never get to the end.  And all the hopes and dreams fly the wrong direction.

For my mental health, I’ve got to stop daydreaming.  I need to focus on the tasks immediately in front of me…

  1. Keep calm and roll with the punches, extreme emotion/stress does not help
  2. Get back to walking daily (my foot is just about healed now)
  3. Keep taking the prenatal vitamins and stay regular with the GAD meds
  4. Drink water
  5. Keep calm and roll with the punches, extreme emotion/stress does not help
  6. Start using the ovulation sticks on November 8
  7. Attend the FD ultrasound on November 13
  8. Keep calm and roll with the punches, extreme emotion/stress does not help
    (and then, presuming the FD ultrasound is positive)
  9. Watch for and report when positive ovulation results are in
  10. Make the IUI appointment
  11. Have the IUI
  12. Keep calm and roll with the punches, extreme emotion/stress does not help
  13. Wait two weeks
  14. Keep calm and roll with the punches, extreme emotion/stress does not help

That’ll keep me busy, right?

Riiiiiiiiiiiight…

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s