Doing the Safety Dance.

It’s currently five minutes to 8:00am here in the greater Seattle metro area.  I’ve held on to this secret of ours for five days now.  I have called SRM and left a message for my coordinator, I’ve also emailed them.

Currently, only our financial backers know the score… I had to tell SOMEONE other than Partner!  So I got to tell one person and he got to tell one person and it seemed like they were the obvious, best, choices… they’re literally invested in this with us!

But, there’s so many others I feel I should tell, and WANT to tell.  Number one being my own mother.  Partner put his foot down and asked that I NOT let her in on it yet.  I’m hoping that once we have a blood test to confirm that he’ll ease up.  Cuz, really, she may be 78 years old… but I want my mommy.

So, when is it safe to tell?  I know conventional wisdom… six weeks in, 12 weeks in.  We have a rough plan that at some point those closest to us will be informed but that the extended family/friends will not be told until Christmas.  Then Facebook official at that 12 week mark.  By then we’ll have had the genetic testing for all the big/bad stuff and even know the gender (one up side of being “High Risk”), it actually happens at ten weeks.

But… It’s still so scary.  It’s still so unsure!  It’s still not safe, not even then.  The risk of heartbreak is always near.  Miscarriage, genetic anomalies, Downs, insurmountable odds, accidents.

Then I think to myself… one step at a time.  I can be SAFE in the knowledge that this is real.  I’m pregnant.  I’ve never gotten even this far so I can be SAFE feeling some excitement and joy.  I can be SAFE in the knowledge that there are people working for me, with me.

I am safe.  I have Partner and I have Sprout.  I’ll take that for now.

 

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2 thoughts on “Doing the Safety Dance.

    • Thank you, Dubliner. I thought about waiting for the first scan, but I’m just not good at secret keeping. I have one of those faces that SCREAMS what’s happening in my head/heart. And my mother knows me insanely well… she already suspects but is keeping it to herself. Partner and I discussed it further last night, we’ll have another blood test to confirm numbers are doubling on Wednesday morning, if all is good there, I’ll let Mom and a few other close folks know what is up…

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