First, an apology… then a new chapter.

I posted two weeks ago, looking for feedback and conversation about closing this blog and starting a new one or simply carrying on with this one into the future.  I know, intimately, how it feels to read about a person’s struggle with infertility only to then read “#miraclesdohappen.”  I don’t want to cause more harm to a hurting soul.  But, yet, this is my journey.  I may thought I’d never achieve pregnancy in my deep heart, but the blog WAS intended to catalog the struggle and outcome.  In those months leading up to November, this place was my safe place, and I love it…

So, here I am.  I’ve elected to come back to keep typing away when things feel strange, overwhelming, or when I’m frustrated by a NEW list of conventional wisdom that turns out to be utter bull sh*t.

To those in the trenches of infertility, childless-not-by-choice… my heart is still with you.  There is a PTSD that comes with this journey.  I CAN still relate.  I AM still one of you.  My heart breaks with you and my ears and mind are ready to listen and comfort.  I’m sorry if you feel left behind, yet again.  I have futile wishes and prayers for every one of you, and my platitudes won’t help.  I’m sorry and grateful for the part of the path we COULD walk together.  YOU ARE NOT FORGOTTEN.

To those of you looking for hope… I guess I’ve got a story to tell you if you’ve got the time to read back over the archives.

To the future… you’re yet to be written and I bet you’ll be another leg of the rollercoaster I’ve been on all these months.  The rollercoaster I understand life simply must be in order to get us evolved and completed.

I will avoid using the tag “infertility” from here on out, unless it’s an exclusively dedicated post, as was suggested.  But I need and want this space to keep being mine, to continue working with my thoughts as it works toward the future that is blooming.

Roll on.


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