I see from the calendar that I've avoided journaling for a week now. It's time to revisit the habit. One week ago, I was bouncing around, having held on to the quiet certainty that I was, for the first time in my life, pregnant. Seven days later, I have to believe I still am. It's … Continue reading Gently, like the sound of snow falling.
It's currently five minutes to 8:00am here in the greater Seattle metro area. I've held on to this secret of ours for five days now. I have called SRM and left a message for my coordinator, I've also emailed them. Currently, only our financial backers know the score... I had to tell SOMEONE other than … Continue reading Doing the Safety Dance.
Dearest Sprout... Are you in there, little love? The pink lines on the stick say that you are. I'm too scared to believe yet, I think your Daddy is too. On November 22, our order of home pregnancy tests arrived. I hoped I could hold out and not test until November 24, but one thing … Continue reading Letters to the editor, part III.
This little piece of paper is my sanity right now. "If I can make it through today, I can test tomorrow." Then I play the game again the next day. Every day past the first starred day is one that the test will be that much more accurate. For my doctor I HAVE to test … Continue reading X marks the spot.
I've been trying so hard, honestly, to be "good" these days since the IUI. Honestly, it's getting harder and harder to keep on even keel and go through the days like a normal person. I hibernated all weekend. On the good side, I was able to keep anxiety largely at bay, and I didn't actually … Continue reading Mishmash jibber jabber.
Dearest Sprout, I wrote to you last week as if you were a fact, but right now- just yet, you're not. All that I said about how we're trying to make you come to life, that's all real and happening- but today you're still just a hope. Hope is a powerful thing. It's been my … Continue reading Letters to the editor, part II.
Pragmatic me is returning, after the simple relief and joy of the last few days. That's not to say I'm in a bad mood or depressed, just thinking of things in a different way. Mostly, I'm a little awed by the strangeness of this situation. How strange that I can drop my trousers and offer up … Continue reading Stranger things.