There IS evidence of life. And most of the time I am absolutely buoyant in the comfortable knowledge that my body is growing a human. But in these in-between times, when the days leading up to another appointment, another ultrasound, grow long... well, my negative self-image, media images, the urge to compare with others, it … Continue reading The depression of disbelief.
I wrote on the Book of Face today that I've officially packed too much into a seven day period of time. One week ago today, I was reveling in relief that the doctor who will (WILL) monitor the progress of my Maybe Baby was supportive and ready to take me on. By that evening, I … Continue reading Deserving of this?
It's been growing all weekend; this ball of anxiety and sadness that won't be named. I can't find the source. When I can't find the source, there is no treatment for it. When you have a tooth ache, you either give it antibiotics, fill the hole, extract the root, or pull the tooth. I can't … Continue reading I have… issues.
"Waitey" isn't even a word, but I was going for a snappy title. Weight and wait. Heavy topics. Pun definitely intended. I am on a count down now... fourteen days from today we will finally have our follow up with the fertility clinic. That's lots of time to worry. A lot to worry about. Two … Continue reading Weighty matters and waitey matters.
** I preface this long ass post by noting that, despite how it sounds in the following novella, Partner and I have NOT yet made any decisions one way or another about trying advanced reproductive options. ** Today was not my best day ever. I did a damn good job of being a pretty awful … Continue reading An Edvard Munch day.
I wrote this on The Book of Face last night: Hurry up and wait... it's the way of our world it seems. But I gotta live in the moment or forget to live at all in the time between "now" and "then". Too much life wasted when I am impatient. Indeed, Monday looms large and … Continue reading Lady in waiting.
It's a phrase that means, "the generally accepted belief, opinion, judgment, or prediction about a particular matter" (Merriam-Webster) The older I get, the more I learn that they're lies. ... Yeah, okay, "lies" might be a strong word. But they're often too easily said as a band-aid to difficult or emotional situations. And, hence, the … Continue reading Conventional wisdom…