I've been trying so hard, honestly, to be "good" these days since the IUI. Honestly, it's getting harder and harder to keep on even keel and go through the days like a normal person. I hibernated all weekend. On the good side, I was able to keep anxiety largely at bay, and I didn't actually … Continue reading Mishmash jibber jabber.
Dearest Sprout, I wrote to you last week as if you were a fact, but right now- just yet, you're not. All that I said about how we're trying to make you come to life, that's all real and happening- but today you're still just a hope. Hope is a powerful thing. It's been my … Continue reading Letters to the editor, part II.
What a week it's been. What I thought was going to be my drama in the last space of time turned out to have been given more power than I needed to. It's typical of me and you'd think I'd learn, but I am who I am. Since our last episode... (I'm a goof.) Last … Continue reading Peace of pace.
My counselor is very fond of telling me to increase my self-care. Read: my counselor is sick to death of reminding me that self-care is important. The trouble is, self-care usually feels selfISH to me. Eat better (try to control emotional binge eating, talk it out instead) Exercise (snort) Journal (does this count) Sleep Hygiene … Continue reading Social landmines ahead.
It's been growing all weekend; this ball of anxiety and sadness that won't be named. I can't find the source. When I can't find the source, there is no treatment for it. When you have a tooth ache, you either give it antibiotics, fill the hole, extract the root, or pull the tooth. I can't … Continue reading I have… issues.
"What a day September 22, 2017 was! The first day of fall and I didn't have any more wake-ups to face, the day of our next doctor appointment had arrived." I feel like I'm writing a novel some days. And really, this is a journey that could be a novel. I'm looking back on yesterday … Continue reading Red light means stop, green means go, yellow means go very fast.
One more wake-up. I feel like my foot has been hovering in the air, mid-step, for an eon. And this is just how it feels building up to the appointment to find out if the path we want is the path we can have. Partner and I had counseling last night. That was probably one … Continue reading And then there was… one.