My counselor is very fond of telling me to increase my self-care. Read: my counselor is sick to death of reminding me that self-care is important. The trouble is, self-care usually feels selfISH to me. Eat better (try to control emotional binge eating, talk it out instead) Exercise (snort) Journal (does this count) Sleep Hygiene … Continue reading Social landmines ahead.
It's been growing all weekend; this ball of anxiety and sadness that won't be named. I can't find the source. When I can't find the source, there is no treatment for it. When you have a tooth ache, you either give it antibiotics, fill the hole, extract the root, or pull the tooth. I can't … Continue reading I have… issues.
"What a day September 22, 2017 was! The first day of fall and I didn't have any more wake-ups to face, the day of our next doctor appointment had arrived." I feel like I'm writing a novel some days. And really, this is a journey that could be a novel. I'm looking back on yesterday … Continue reading Red light means stop, green means go, yellow means go very fast.
"Waitey" isn't even a word, but I was going for a snappy title. Weight and wait. Heavy topics. Pun definitely intended. I am on a count down now... fourteen days from today we will finally have our follow up with the fertility clinic. That's lots of time to worry. A lot to worry about. Two … Continue reading Weighty matters and waitey matters.
A name can evoke a lot of feelings for people. They can bring about the energy of a loved one passed; discomfort of painful relationships; they can evoke places, times, love, hate... names are strong. This morning, a name gave me sweet relief. Partner asked me what I thought of a particular combination of names and … Continue reading What’s in a name?
WordPress is happily telling me that it's been nine days since I last blogged. It's been a relatively quiet couple of weeks, busy getting ready for a vacation week and then taking that time. Our couples counselor suggested we "live in the moment" while doing the hurry up and wait dance with tests and doctor … Continue reading Reality check in.
It's morning, here in Washington and I'm in a little limbo. My mind is all over the place. I still have that annoying (scary) HOPE that a miracle might be inside me even now, but I'm also thinking about all the reasons that can't possibly be. One of the big reasons is that me and Partner … Continue reading Fluffy